mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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