I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
