i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
