His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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