dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
