I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize