Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
