Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
