Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
