can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
