I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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