Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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