I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
