maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
