Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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