one might say we're banned from that church
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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