When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
