Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
