I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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