yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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