rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I can't put those talents on a resume
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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