Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
