Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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