im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
