So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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