Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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