Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
