um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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