it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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