remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
