dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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