please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
