My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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