Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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