There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
