Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
