Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
