Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
