I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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