He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Let's get the cat blown out
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
