eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize