so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
