You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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