do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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