Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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