I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
