apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
