He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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