mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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