Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please don't give away my fajitas
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
