she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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