Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
