Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
