i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
