he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
