Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize