I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
