turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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