I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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