he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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