This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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