Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
