I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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