nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
