Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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