i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
