you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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