My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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