5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
