I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
